The end of the month brings my favorite blog link-up with Marcia!
Head on over to her blog for some great Runfessions!
In the past, my runfessions have been light-hearted and have an element of humor.
Most Runfessions do.
I RUNFESS: The loss of my dog on Monday murdered my motivation. I mean seriously... I need an intervention. Honestly, the only reason I've even functioned this week is because I have two small children that are my whole world. I also have a job and my boss would start to wonder if I didn't show up to work. I'm sure my patient's wouldn't be very happy if I last minute cancelled their appointments either.
I won't even talk about the food I'm consuming this week. Is there a food addiction program? "Hello, my name is Gina and I'm addicted to Shit food." RUNFESSION #2: I've always been addicted to SHIT food, it's just this week I don't give a damn.
On Monday, I didn't eat at all. I think maybe a protein bar all day. How could I? My baby was leaving this earth. 4 pm. Worst day of my life for sure. I still see his amazing face laying peacefully on the floor. Me crumbled in a sobbing ball pressed up next to his body. My husband and I took Lukin together. Thank goodness for each other. We became closer in that moment than we've ever been before. I am thankful for his love and support.
My house is eerily quiet. Even over the noise of rambunctious boys.....it's just.so.quiet. No clicking nails from his paws, no panting at our feet for food. No doggie dreams as he lays on the floor. Lukin's presence is all over the house. 3 dog beds, balls, blankets, hair, hair, hair... did I mention the hair? Oh how I want the hair all over my house and my bed and my walls and my clothes... Will it just bring him back?
It's no secret that he was aging. His breathing was labored. We dealt with poop in the house every day for 6 months. He was deaf. I'm convinced he was very senile. He had no idea our house was not his bathroom anymore. He had very little muscle mass on his back end. As I write, my brain tells me we did the right thing. My heart will always tell me different.
He was one of the best things about my life and now he's gone. The hole in my heart has destroyed a bit of my happy. I have zero running mojo and don't really care to get after it. I know with time I'll heal. I do choose happy. I have so much to be thankful for and happy about. My life is a gift with so many blessings. Just look at that face! He's the most beautiful dog I have ever seen.
Today I did get out for my first post-marathon run. I RUNFESS: it felt good. I also RUNFESS: I haven't written about my first marathon experience yet. I've been too sad to focus on the happy of that day. I'm waiting for the right time to discuss it. I want to, so look for that post soon. I just feel guilty talking about my triumph when it was so closely followed by sadness.
Today is a beautiful day and I choose to focus on happy today. My post-run pic had a beautiful ray of sunshine through it and that's my Lukin looking down on his mommy and smiling away. In his fields filled with fat pheasants.
Do you have any runfessions you want to discuss today? Link-up and tell us your thoughts!